Beyond Men’s Group

Beyond Men’s Group

healing the male feminine: the wound hiding in plain sight

For countless generations, men have been programmed to disconnect from their feminine. This represents a deep, fundamental wound within humanity, one that requires steady and loving attention to be healed.

Over several years, I (David Perl) participated in and facilitated men’s groups. I felt disconnected from my masculinity, I didn’t know what healthy masculinity looked like, and I wanted to connect with other men courageous enough to explore their male wounds together. Those experiences were important and helpful in my transformation.

However, I found two key issues with the men’s groups:

  1. They were primarily focused on masculinity.
  2. There weren’t any women.

“Uh, David? Do you know what a men’s group is?”

Good question, go with me on this.

1. Why shouldn’t men focus on masculinity?

It is clear that a wounded and distorted masculinity has reigned for a long time on Earth. Many men, myself included have felt confused and disconnected from our masculinity. Therefore men’s groups focus on masculinity, – healing; empowering; and guiding masculinity, – to counter the distorted and repressed masculinity that has been present on Earth for so long. While this is a worthy purpose, and it is helpful, it can only take you so far. it is only part of the equation.

We all have both masculine and feminine aspects within us, it is not about gender. It is balancing and harmonizing those two aspects within ourselves that takes us beyond our current paradigm and into collective evolution.

Although the male masculine has been twisted and wounded, the male feminine is almost entirely suppressed out of expression. And without addressing this, no amount of masculine work will make a significant difference. Indeed, most of the healing breakthroughs that I facilitated in men’s groups (and there was typically one or more every session) relied heavily on me embodying my feminine (though this was not stated explicitely). I believe that the deepest wound within many men is not their distorted masculine, it is their suppressed feminine.

As frightening as joining a typical men’s group and exploring one’s own masculinity with other men may be, exploring one’s own femininity is much more.

So the Beyond Men’s Group is for men who are ready and willing, who are courageous enough to dive deep into the wounds of their feminine, to explore their messy process of evolution, while be surrounded and supported by others doing the same.

“OK David, you’re starting to make sense, but why have women there?”

2. Why have women in a men’s group?

Because women are part of the problem. Everyone has been programmed that men should suppress their feminine. This wound is felt by women too, and it is crucial that they too be healed of this AND be involved in the healing. The idea of a men-only group gives the sense of safety, we can let our guard down because it’s just us guys. However, a man being seen and accepted by other men, while connecting to his feminine is only part of the healing. Being seen and accepted by women, while connecting to his feminine, is equally – and possibly more – important. It is because I have experienced this (a woman seeing and accepting me in my feminine) that I am now capable of launching this group.

Women need this too. Seeing men connect to their feminine will be deeply healing for many women. There will be space for them to reflect, to go through their own process, and to support the awakeneing of the male feminine.

All participants, men and women will be required to adhere to the group rules and keep this group a safe and loving space.

“OK. But then why don’t we just make it a group for feminine healing for everyone?”

Another good question. It may evolve into that over time, however right now I am a man going through this healing process, and the next step that I see is gathering men to heal this together, AND inviting women to be part of the process, inviting them to support healing of the male feminine and to heal their own wounds related to the male feminine.

So the Beyond Men’s Group is for those who are ready to go beyond typical men’s groups, to go beyond rigid ideas of what men are supposed to do and be. This is for men AND WOMEN who are ready to ACTUALLY face and feel the pain that they are carrying, to stop blaming the outside world for the state of the planet and take responsibility and go inward. This is for those willing to make space for their emotions, to open up to their feminine, in a safe container, free of judgement.

Men are carrying deep trauma and programming that go back generations. Many of us were directly or indirectly taught to disconnect from ourselves and others. We were taught to view women and sex in twisted ways. We carry the guilt and blame for the actions of men in the past. Even though this may be clear in our minds, we cannot force it to be healed and transformed by simply judging it, thinking about it, or wanting it to – we have to ACTUALLY face it. This means to accept what is inside us – not in theory, but to truly accept it – to feel ALL of the emotions, all of the pain. It requires us to be curious enough to investigate, to surrender to the process and to open our hearts.

If you are afraid to join, then this is probably for you. Men gathering together and opening their hearts is such an uncommon experience, one we have been so strongly programmed to avoid that we are afraid of what might happen, we don’t even know what would happen. David too experiences fear, but that fear guides him to take this next step. Though he is afraid, he is also deeply energized and curious about what will happen.

It won’t be comfortable, and it will be painful, but if the caterpillar chooses comfort, then it will never become a butterfly. The rewards of the process are immeasurable, much greater than any comfort.

Lifetimes of pain (ours, our ancestors’ and our collective’s) are waiting inside us to be addressed, to be looked at, accepted, and healed. David has chosen this path of evolution and he invites you to join him.

Please select a subscription below to join. Pay for 5 months and get 1 free, or choose the monthly membership.

Important information

The Beyond Men’s Group is a closed group hosted within the Benuw Academy online community. After you complete your first payment you will be sent an email directing you to join Benuw Academy and the Beyond Men’s Group at the same time.
If you already have an account (with Benuw Academy) you will have immediate access to the group. If you haven’t got an account, you will have to create one to receive access. You can follow directions given in the email.

What’s included

  • Online community – a safe space to interact with other men and women who are interested in healing and awakening the male feminine. Men and women courageous enough to open their heart and take responsibility for their own evolution. It is a space where you can ask your questions and/or share your story openly.
  • Weekly coaching/healing sessions with David or guest leader on Tuesdays – alternating between 9am CET and 9pm CET (Paris Timezone).
  • Recordings of the sessions are available within the group for 5 weeks.

Weekly coaching/healing/ask-me-anything sessions:

  • Tuesdays – alternating between 9am CET and 9pm CET.
  • Questions can be submitted to be answered during the call if you can’t make it live
  • Recordings of the sessions are available within the group for 5 weeks.
  • Intuition and the needs of the group will lead the form of the sessions – they may be an open forum where everyone has the chance to speak, a guided meditation, a Q&A or simply David vulnerably sharing his process.
  • No one will ever be forced to speak, nor to have their camera on.

Payment

  • Access to the group is via a monthly subscription.
  • Several payment methods are available (see payment button below).
  • You can unsubscribe at any time and access will be removed at the end of your billing period.

Refund policy

No refunds are available.

Group rules

  • This group is a safe space for us to let our guard down and open up, so no bullying or harassing of any kind is tolerated.
  • We respect each others clearly stated boundaries.
  • We take responsibility for our own emotions and experiences – abundant space is available to feel and move through them, but it is not about blaming/finding the culprit.
  • Excessive judgement or complaining without self-reflection is not tolerated.
  • No promotion of other businesses within the group.
  • Posting links is not allowed.
  • Ask permission before sending private messages to other group members (i.e. one private message requesting contact is allowed).
  • Updates of rules will be announced within the group and will require explicit confirmation and agreement from each member.
  • Benuw has a 2-strike policy for breaking the group rules. The second time results in immediate removal from the group without any refund.
  • Benuw reserves the right to remove access from any member at any time at its discretion.

Dive in when you’re ready

About David Perl (Me)

You can connect further with me through one-on-one coaching, my YouTube channel, or listen to my podcast on Spotify.

I go deep. I feel deeply and think deeply. I courageously explore my darkness and my light, embracing what I discover. I have found ways to walk through the frightening chaos of transformation, to feel all of the pain that emerges and experience an ever deepening appreciation for myself and for my life – to have fun with the process, and to process very quickly. This has led me to consistently go outside of my comfort zone, to make massive career changes and to move country several times because my inner guidance directed me too. It led me to free myself from my abusive ex-wife (as well as heal years of abuse) within a matter of months. It led me to access deep self-love, and then deep external love.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, and it’s not all storm clouds and demons, it can be any combination of either on a given day. I explore how to face and embrace whatever shows up and I invite you into that exploration. I may have a direct answer/solution for the problem you’re facing, I may intuitively guide you to reveal an answer from within yourself, I may feel some of your emotional pain for you to lighten the load, or by allowing you to witness my process you may automatically have a transformative experience yourself. Through ever-deepening vulnerability and intimacy, magic and evolution happen.

I recently became a father and have faced many unexpected challenges and experiences. I was confronted with much anger and pain within myself in response to my son’s existence and sees it as an opportunity to heal generations of trauma and confusion related to children.

In terms of vocation, I worked for several years in hospitality as a bartender/barista while attending university to become an engineer. After four and a half years working in a world-leading engineering firm I knew it was time to leave. It was a hard decision because I had what was theoretically my dream job (everything that he had dreamed of and more), but the signs were so clear that I couldn’t ignore them (I did try for a while). I then helped manage my father’s business for 4 years before receiving more signs that it was time to move on. This was also a scary choice to make given the safety, security and comfort that working for my father offered me. Since then I have prioritized my own internal process and allowed opportunities for work to find me, working as a management consultant, a life-coach and a healer.